What insomnia brings

Thoughts of you. Memories too. The scent of your all day in the crook of your neck. The taste of your lips hunger laced yet quickly satisfied shifting that need to other areas yearning for attention. If you want you need only ask. With a look I've come to recognize I step closer to pay attention to detail on the masterpiece that is you. Skin so soft I ache at being so close but wanting to go deeper. Let me touch you after I've tasted you. Hills, valleys, crevices, moans, finger sucking toe twisting type of satisfaction in the end that's what I want. But for now I dream up what could be if only we could exist somewhere other than the endless space of my mind in the middle of the night. When insomnia brings forth thoughts of you so. Close enough to recall to far away to be reached damn let me hurry and drift off to SLEEP, SLEep , Sleep, sleep....

You to me and I to you

 I will be the kiss that lasts on your lips long after I'm gone. The scent that makes you look over your shoulder thinking you'll see me standing there. The warmth you miss even on the warmest days. And the emotional charge you can't imagine your days without. For me you'll be my sweet escape! The image in my mind that makes me smile on the most trying of days. That everlasting need to be in your presence again and again. That one incomparable to any other rightfully and always.

Emotions

If emotions flipped on and off like a light switch I'd stand in the dark. Wrapped in fear swaddled by the safety net of not letting you close. Close enough to damage the one thing I wish I had more control over but don't. My heart! Alone with my thoughts I realize the inability to override natural progression is not always bad. When love or the development towards that emotion is allowed to seed and grow of its own will it produces the pure kind of love people dream up and are scared of. Most will never know the kind of love that closes space Or the love that makes effort effortless. No one will ever be ready to risk being hurt but it is that same risk that will give you everything you could ever need and all you never knew you required.

Untitled

Blue Ocean Floor playing:
(I never know what the words will explain until I lift my pen) I can't title this one no title fits.

Appeasing the side of you that's ready to stop fighting the feelings that have somehow crept up and settled inside of the cage meant to keep things out. I know you never fall without caution but know I'll be right there when you leap. Fear of something so powerful can only mean that your intrigued enough to have your feelings up for grabs. Your right at the door now Push! Push past any and all restraint that's holding you back and keeping you guarded. I see you, I can sense you! Each thought of me makes a wall a memory and more of me makes it's way into your daily routine. In the form of a thought,song,action,smile. When your ready this will speak to you. Patience is often rewarded with small milestones to date I've had many. Smiles......

Thought's

In the quiet recess of my mind I think of you. Subconsciously bringing forth images that keep you ever present guiding decisions and actions. Because? A question I often ask myself but am to afraid to answer... My mind has long since been aware of my heart yet my tongue is to stubborn to release the secrets of either. My soul connected with yours long ago and is still reluctant to walk away. Simply because letting you go shouldn't be an option with chemistry like ours. The safer bet possibly but incomplete if affection were given to or received from another. We fit each other for a reason. Never forget.... (ME)

Invisible Scars

She is the abusive one but my scars you won't see that is unless you study me. My scars have names and are held close, closer than I would like to admit. Come in and I'll share just a bit. This scar here is called broken "she" did that also broke me to my core after I trusted her to guard my heart. To care enough to not break me like the others. Oh and this scar here her name is clothed. She causes me to cover naked skin when eyes roam constantly questioning all that makes me woman because I'd gained a little here and there. Ah yes this scar well it's actually still healing it's name is foolish I named her that because no matter how many times she was reopened she kept trying to fix herself eventhough there was nothing wrong with her. I know you have more questions but that is all I can take for now I am hurting all over from wounds that are oozing the dark side of love. I hope to one day be free of the scars but able to remember the pain so vividly that I look down upon myself to see if I am bleeding. If I can remember the pain I can stay as far away from it as possible. I don't want anyone to heal me. I want to gain the courage and strength enough to heal myself. Give me a few days to rest and we will pick up where we left off I promise. Why now you ask have I chosen to share. Well because you have a scar behind your ear that you were sure no one would see. A scar that mirrors wounds I've seen on me.

*Running Away*

Shoes laced up & I'm off again / Running from what was, what is, what could be / It's that secret little bit of fear at the core of me / Fear that you could be the one / The one that makes walls come down / I can't let myself go, fall, trip, stumble / For friendship, love, a cuddle, a hug / Letting people in defies my made up laws / The same laws that have gotten me this far / Always keep an eye out because if you get to close I'll lace up my shoes READY, SET, GO / Forgive me now for what will come / I know you'll hurt & I will to / But for now running is so much easier to do